Saturday, March 30, 2013 . 11:35 PM今天早上开始就很不顺心。不管做什么都觉得好像少了些什么。。。 发觉自己越来越不明白自己到底在做什么。我的身份除了医生以外就没别了吗? 真的好像失去了方向。 想找个人聊天, 却发觉还真的没有可以诉苦的对象。
又开始有点想家, 想朋友, 想去找回自己。。。
Wednesday, March 20, 2013 . 3:19 PM
Last week I had the privilege to visit Korea. It was a very fruitful trip and let me tell you why.Looking back, thinking ahead
Even though it was a trip with cousins and aunt, (which i don't mind cause i think we don't get to do this often enough, especially with cousins you do not see often) I also had the opportunity to wander on my own, to just get into my own head and really think about life issues.
1)Amidst the bustling city life in Korea, there was also a very strong sense of culture and belonging. As we Malaysians pride ourselves over the multiracial harmony, deep down inside there is always the three major races first, then our nationality. In comparison, maybe just having a single language, a single identity is not such a bad idea after all.
2) One of the things i enjoy doing while travelling (besides shopping) is to really experience the local culture, may it be the way they eat, the places to visit, the way they talk, even the way to mix soju and beer local style. It fascinates me. This doesn't just apply to Korea, but also the other countries I have previously visited, but there was something different about this trip. Maybe because it was a trip that was planned so long before hand, I even took the initiative to pick up really basic Korean just to get my way around. There was effort invested, and I felt it was worth the effort.
3) I also got the privilege to experience the olden time Korea, through trips to the palace and folk villages. As touristy as it is, it does give an insight of what the country was and how far they have progressed. I just had the chat with my father while he was sending me to the airport. When MSC was launched, Korea was still on dialup. Few years down the line, they have free wifi on streets, speed up to 300mb, while we go all HOO HAA over 10mb. It's quite a sad state actually. The sadder part is our government still think we are making good progress.
4) Then I always believe that a trip is made even more worthwhile by the company you have and the people you meet. I enjoyed getting to know the crazier sides, (sometimes the angrier side) of my cousins which I do not get to see that often, since we don't even see each other often. Now I know that this is who they really are, the walls have come down and I know I have gotten closer to them and are able to talk to them with ease next time we meet. No more awkward silence.
5) The people I met in Korea deserved a whole paragraph to themselves. These are the group of staff in the guesthouse I stayed during the trip. Check out their website here . Some may argue that they are just doing their job, to exercise hospitality to all the guest they meet. I beg to differ. These group of people do enjoy meeting people, and it was more than a job to them. I got the chance to sit down and chat with them over a drink or two, and I realised that there is so much I can learn from these people. One particular hyung comes to mind, as he was the one in charge of our tour group. We later found out that we were his last tour group before he goes off to another job in another country. I thoroughly enjoyed our late night chat at the snow lodge as we talked about what his plans are in the future and he got me thinking about my own. Despite only knowing us for less than a week, he took real good care of our needs, even driving 2 hours (which was supposed to be his sleeping time since he work night shifts) to get us to our destination. I really admire his tenacity of wanting to learn more. On my last night there, I met another few hyungs, which i regretted not knowing earlier (I really am shy when it comes to meeting new people la) again over a few drinks, we exchange stories about their future plan.
6) On my way back, I began to start thinking of my own future. This has actually been in my head for a long time, do I really want to be a doctor for the rest of my life? My answer before medical school would have been a resounding yes. But as time goes by, when I am about to finish medical school, I still have plans to specialise, but I knew I did not want to work as a doctor forever. And through this trip of rediscovering my passion in life, I realise I want to meet people from all walks of life, to share their stories. I am not saying I cannot do this in the hospital, i do still meet people from different backgrounds; I am saying that I do not want to be bogged down by the building or organisation. While at this moment, I ponder my next direction in life, i will still work hard through my housemanship.
7) And here comes the most amazing part about parents. Again on my way to the airport, this time to fly back to work. My dad, who always just ask "how's work", this time asked me "so how, is it easy being a doctor? you like it or not?" And I suddenly felt so amazed as I have never shared my thoughts on leaving medical profession with them. It was quite a divine moment for me, so I shared my thoughts with him, " for now I am a doctor, I will do it. But I'm not entirely sure whether I want to do it my entire life." My dad just smirked, and then we started throwing ideas on what to do in the future ( but we did not get too far, since I still wasn't sure) So it is good to go on trips once in a while, as I learned from my other God-father, papa hieu, to just take time off to think and reflect and rediscover yourself.
While in the trip itself, many questions will surface, the beauty in it is not the answer, but for more questions to surface, and the worth, is in the journey of discovering.
WC hyung, I really look up to you. Hope to meet up soon. And you can teach me how to control the ski next time! maybe next winter in seoul again?
RK hyung, hope we get to see your movie soon!
To other staffs in Namsan, hope to meet you all again.